Decided to go out for a long(er) run tonight
By JB. Filed in Jogging |
The goal was to run to my office building then across the campus quad and back home – about 5.7 miles.
The first 4 miles went relatively smoothly. Wasn’t trying to break any speed records or anything. Right at around 4 miles, though, the two slices of pan pizza and accompanying two beers began to try to free themselves my my digestive tract. The feeling is what I imagine Finch felt after eating the Exlax-laced brownies in American Pie. Afraid that I was going to dislodge my supper from its soon to be very temporary home, I slowed to a walk until it seemed like things had settled down a bit then started off on a jog again, but this only had the effect of getting the shit stirred up and ready for action again, so again I walked. I spent the last 1.7 miles jogging as much as I could, but mostly walking with butt cheeks clenched at maximum tightness trying to stave off the inevitable.
I did make it home and to the toilet with the remnants of dinner still safely tucked away, but it was close. The commode was utterly ruined.
Lesson: do not eat pan pizza and then engage in an activity that encourages the pizza to works its way through the digestive tract any faster than it needs to.